Forgotten Farewell
by Diane Langley
Summary: He did not say goodbye to the one person who needed most. Can Sirius Black find the forgiveness of his love, or have they lost the only love they ever knew? SiLi


_How am I supposed to feel about the things I've done? I don't know if I should stay, or turn around and run. I know that I hurt you; things will never be the same. The only love I ever knew, I threw it all away._

Lily Evans had received the letter three days ago. Her heart was still beating irregularly from the surprise, the shock of hearing from him after so long. It had been two years since he disappeared without even a goodbye to her. Apparently, he had told everyone farewell except for her. She alone had been neglected.

Her first emotion when she read the letter, which asked her to meet him, was anger. How dare he leave her that way and still expect her to return to his waiting arms? Her second emotion had been something far more complex and hard to understand than anger. It had been love, the same sheer love and passion she had not felt for two years. Now, she was sitting quietly on the bench in Grady Park, waiting for him. Ominous clouds had rolled in overhead, threatening to spill their contents at any moment.

Suddenly, he was in her line of vision approaching. Without her bidding it to do so, her body rose, standing. Her eyes followed him as he walked. His black hair hung loosely around his face, framing the pale, thin cheeks and steep nose. Full lips were curved slightly downward, and his dark eyes were muted from something indescribable. She noted that his strong chin had not changed, still holding that stubborn definition. A fire lit inside of her that had not burned for a very long time at the sight of him.

"Lily…" he greeted. His voice was deep, husky and rough, just as she remembered it. He did not smile; he had always gauged her emotions so easily, knowing when she needed a smile or a joke or shoulder to cry on. At this moment, though, she was not sure what she needed and even less sure of what she wanted. "How have you been?"

"Don't give me that," she hissed and discovered a lump had risen high into her throat. "You leave and don't look back for two years, and you ask how I've been?"

"Lily, listen…" he began, a plea for understanding in his voice. Lily shook her head sharply; she was not done yet.

"Here's how I've been: For the first few days, I kept believing you weren't really gone," she laughed bitterly, "I kept telling myself you were coming back for me, or at least coming back to say goodbye. After that, when I knew you were gone, I finally cried. I didn't stop for almost a month, or at least that's how it felt. I felt like I would never ever stop. I waited a year before it stopped hurting and throbbing inside of me. Then I went numb. I couldn't feel anything. My heart was broken, lying inside of my chest in two shredded pieces. You broke me, Sirius!"

Sirius Black opened his mouth, but found no words, dropping his head down sadly. She continued, "Just when I was getting back onto my feet, finding my place again, James told me you had written him a letter. You wrote him a letter! But me…you didn't even have the courtesy to mention me in the letter you wrote to him. It was like I had never existed to you. I realized in that moment, that even if you came back, I could never forgive you. It has been four months since that moment, and here I am, standing here staring at you, the very person I thought I would never see again. I haven't forgiven you. I can't forgive you. It hurts too badly."

"Lily," he said slowly, looking back at her. His strong hands were clenched tightly at his sides. He appeared to bracing himself from a coming storm. "It was important. This 'Dark Lord', this man, Voldemort, I know you have heard of him. He is gaining power, followers; he wants to take over, and I am afraid that he may have the power to do so. I've been with Albus Dumbledore. I've been helping him prepare for what looks like it will be a war,"

Lily gaped at him, jaw dropped. She had heard of this evil power, an evil presence, building towards a campaign for power; she had prayed it was just a vicious rumor, but Dumbledore did not brace himself, did not steal people away from their lives, for rumors or uncertainty. There must be real danger coming. Suddenly, the full meaning of his words hit her. He had been left with no choice but to leave her. Her anger evaporated.

"Why didn't you say goodbye, Sirius?" She voiced softly. Her green eyes were welled up with tears.

"Because if I had looked at you and tried to say goodbye, I never could have left, and Lily, I had to go." He replied. She nodded, closing her eyes. Her face crinkled as she fought away a sob. All this time she had believed he did care, that he had abandoned her

"I know," she murmured in cracked voice, face contorted.

"Come here, Lily," his arms reached out and drew her in, against his chest. She wrapped her arms around him as well, weeping against his chest. As if on cue, the skies opened up, and the threatened rain spilt upon them in sheets. Neither of them moved, though.

With her tears dried and all the rest of her wet, Lily tilted her face up to look at Sirius. His hair was plastered against his head by the pelting water; droplets clung on his eyelashes and lips. Her emerald eyes looked straight into his dark ones, seeing her reflection bright in them.

His head bent down, catching her lips in a kiss. Her hands moved up to catch around his neck, pulling him closer, pushing her closer. Their mouths met with need and passion; she never wanted it to end. Hands encircling her waist, Sirius mumbled against her mouth and their kiss, "I love you, Lily Evans,"

"Never let me go again, Sirius," she replied, lips brushing his as she spoke. Water rolled off of his nose onto hers, sliding down over her lips and chin before dropping away.

"I won't. Never again…" He promised.

They sealed the promise with a kiss.

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Disclaimer: Is my name J.K. Rowling? Didn't think so… The lyrics at the beginning of the song are not mine, either. They are Peter Mosley's.

Author's Note: I love Sirius/Lily fics. If you liked this one, then please go on and read my other one, Into the Dying Fire. I am rather fond of these one-shot S/Ls even though I know they are predictable and fluffy. I am fond of writing and reading the predictable, fluffiness, so do not bother to flame it. If you read it, though, please drop a review and check out my other work.


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